Wednesday, December 19, 2007

The Healing Begins...

Autumn Rose was born at 10:30 AM this morning, and it was a little crazy because Dawn had a contraction, and she just came out. We called the nurse, and then they had to page the doctors etc...

We were really apprehensive about looking at her, because the cystic hygroma, and hydrops meant that she was going to be somewhat deformed potentially. The doctor encouraged us to look at her, and then explained what we were in for. He showed her to me, and I am so glad that I didn't chicken out. They placed her on a pillow, and she was with us for about 2 and a half hours. We took lots of pictures and admired her little fingers and toes that were just perfect. She did have quite a bit of fluid around her body, and the hygroma was very large behind her little head. She would have fit in the palm of my hand, but we didn't pick her up, because she seemed so fragile. It was nice to see her at peace laying there so still on the pillow.

I got pretty upset a few times... I think men in general struggle with the whole reality of the fact that your wife is actually pregnant. She wasn't big enough for me to feel her kick, and while Dawn was showing, she wasn't that big yet, so I think it hit me all at once. Yes, Dawn was pregnant, and yes that little heartbeat had stopped... We really took our time, and now have said our, "goodbye". We plan on having a small intimate service with our Priest, and then have her buried in St. Elizabeth's Cemetery on some plots that we need to purchase. She was with us today, and we will be with her again someday...

Before today I hadn't cried that much, but that darn Tommy got me last night when we were telling him that he had to go to Grandma's house, and that the baby had died etc... He says, "Jesus got a present already", and I had to leave the room.

So, now the healing begins, and there will be more tears and sadness, but we are at peace that she isn't suffering, and thankful for all the blessings in our life...

6 comments:

Mom2Max&Alex said...

I just wanted you to know your post brought me to tears! I'm praying for you and Dawn to find peace, but I think you are both already there. I'm glad you shared your story!! Big HUGS and please share them with the boys from our family!

sam said...

Hi Joe
I just wanted to say I'm so very sorry for your loss and have been praying for you guys.

(huge cyber hugs!)

Michelle said...

I'm so sorry, Joe. You and Dawn are so strong, Matt and I really admire you guys. Big hugs from us.

Joe said...

Thanks for all the cyber hugs :)

Heather said...

Joe-
You and Dawn are an inpiration-such strong people. You are such a great support to you and as a friend-thank you. I dont doubt that your little girl was beautiful and she is already watching over the family. She will always be your guardian angel and you will meet again someday.

If you guys need anything, please do not hesitate to ask.

Debbie said...

My deepest sympathies to you, Dawn, the boys and your whole family. Tommy's comment was so sweet and it is kind of a nice way to think of her birthday - what a great gift heaven has recieved!